I have had so many ideas, topics, and life occurrences in the past few months that every time I thought about sitting down to write a new post, I was immediately overwhelmed because I simply couldn’t pick one thing to write about. The ideas would all mesh together and rather than going through them, sorting them out in my mind, and maybe even picking one to elaborate on, I chose to just let them all sit and marinate in a vat of more undeveloped thoughts. And so that was that. And now this is me forcing myself to pull something out of that probably stenchy, overcrowded vat of who knows what and just go with it. In all honesty, (at this current point in time) I’m not sure what it is I’m even going to begin with. But you have to start somewhere. And you should feel special, reader, because I am not afraid to live in my present thoughts with you, to process them with you. You may be sitting there like “okay I could have done without this” or “get on with it, girl, please”. But hey, this is just me and you clicked that link to read this blog so this is what ya get. If you’re into books and reading and all that jazz, I guess this first paragraph could serve as a forward if you’d like… to whatever I’m about to write about. It still hasn’t quite come to me. But it might be incredibly deep. It might be painfully shallow. It will most likely have a little bit of both.
Alright, so I’m seriously living in the present right now with this (maybe being a little extra). And I figured I’d pull something fresh out of the vat, rather than trying to go back in time or flip through old journal entries or books I’ve read but can’t quite recall (still me living in the present). Also, side note– if you’re wondering why I keep mentioning “living in the present”, it’s because that is what I have been aiming to do recently. There are so many changes about to take place in my life with moving into a college dorm room in less than a month etc., that it’s necessary for me to focus on the present in order to not worry about the future unnecessarily. I have to keep on constantly reminding myself to focus on the here and the now and –relating to the title of my blog– fix my eyes on Jesus alone and not on whatever uncertainties are lurking. Because I am definitely (as Ellie Holcomb says) “a recovering perfectionist” — which means I like control… a lot. The logic behind this being then I can perfect the situation or whatever it may be. This is, of course, a joke because my road to perfection is so incredibly broken (hence the term recovering– praise Jesus!). So when we give all of the control of the current situation, relationship, thought, sin, or other part of our life to God, there is incredible freedom and peace unexplainable in knowing He’s got us– now and in the future. And we are one step closer to giving every part of our life to Him. Because that is what we chose to fix our eyes on… HIM! It’s a process, you guys. This is just me processing that process with ya’ll.
And so for your time’s sake, I have just decided to split this blog into two parts. Could we have done without part 1? Sure! But this first part is simply what I needed to do in order to get my mind back in the mode of blogging ((And I hope you don’t feel as though time was wasted in reading this, because there was really no specific topic in this blog (that’s probably more just perfectionist Leah feeling like there needs to be)). So, yes, I am going to leave you hanging with a little bit of knowledge of what my Part 2 will be about– I want to talk about the necessity of trials in people’s lives, but also an elaboration on a pondering thought I had about them (It will most likely be as extensive as it sounds). And by the grace of God, I plan on doing so through His lens and not my own. Because it can be really difficult for me not to wander into my own atmosphere of tainted thoughts sometimes, and I’m sure most of you can relate. And if you do struggle with that, the best words I can give you are to relentlessly re-focus time and time again on Jesus in order to train your eyes and heart to always look to the Lord and seek Him first. Also be on the look-out for part 2 of this whirlwind of a blog 🙂
Just some truth to fuel your Friday (or whatever day you’re reading this on) —
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” -Matthew 6:33
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” -Ephesians 3:20
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” -Hebrews 2:20
Have a blessed day, you guys!